The Dr Jo Show

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Unknown
Does motherhood ruin your life? Are women going to die from miscarriage if they can't get an abortion?

00:00:04:12 - 00:00:09:19
Unknown
And what the heck is Beyoncé going on about in this speech? And that's today on the Doctor Joe Show.

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Unknown
So the first thing I want to say, guys, is thank you so much for joining me on this journey. It's been now three weeks of the Doctor Joe Show, and I'm so grateful for each of you. I had no idea that this would be such a huge workload producing a daily show, but I'm really grateful to the team behind me.

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Unknown
But also each of you, especially each of you who every day. Tune in and listen. If you're on Spotify, can I just ask, can you please give it a five star rating? Just that'll help it get out to more people, make it more searchable. If you're on YouTube, please make sure you're subscribed and hit that notification bell. Please leave comments guys because it just helps it go further and tell people about the show.

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Unknown
I really want to change the culture, change hearts and minds on abortion, on motherhood and parenting. And I think that this show, through longform content, has the capacity to do that. So I need your help. Please help it get out there and more people. And thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for being with me on this journey.

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Unknown
Write comments because I read every single one and I really appreciate your feedback. I know some of you have said there's been a bit of an echo. There's been some mic issues. We try to get ahead around all of the tech things that you need when you do a podcast and, hopefully we're getting there. Hopefully it's getting a little bit better.

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Unknown
But you know, keep leaving those comments because I love hearing from you guys about what you like and don't like with the show. So today, I thought it would be a bit fun to do something different and to react to a couple of videos that have been circulating online. The first video is from Senator Cortez, who's having an interaction with RFK.

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Unknown
Let's take a watch.

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Unknown
a pregnant woman with a life threatening bleed.

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Unknown
Bleeding from an incomplete miscarriage goes to the E.R., and her doctor also determines that she needs an emergency abortion. But she's in a state where abortion is banned. You would agree, also, as an attorney, that federal law protects her right to that emergency care. Correct. I don't know. I mean, the answer that is, of this.

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Unknown
Yes, it well, let me

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Unknown
this is frustrating on so many levels. Senator Cortez is setting up RFK with this question that's essentially a fabrication. It's like a house of cards built on lies. I'm going to get to that in a minute. But RFK, that's not a good enough answer. He should know he's the health secretary. He should know 1 in 4 women will go for an abortion in the US.

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Unknown
Many women experience miscarriage. As the health secretary. He needs to know what the right care is for women in a miscarriage situation. And it's not good enough that he doesn't know.

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Unknown
But one of the reasons he doesn't know, and one of the reasons so many people are confused about this, is because the abortion industry has been lying to women ever since Roe v Wade was overturned.

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Unknown
So ever since Mary v Wade was overturned, they have been saying to women, you are going to die. If you're in a miscarriage situation and you're in a state where abortion is banned, you are going to die. Your life will be at risk. You won't be able to get the care that you need, and that's because abortion is banned.

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Unknown
But let's actually go through what's happening here. So

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Unknown
In an abortion, what you have is a woman, say, at 12 weeks, who presents at a hospital and says, I want to have an abortion. I want to end the life of my child.

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Unknown
And if she's in a state like Texas or Florida where abortion is banned, the doctors are going to turn around and say, sorry, we're not able to do that for you. The method that they would have used if they could do it, say they were in New York or L.A., where you can do this because it's legal. The method they would have used is something called a dilation and curettage.

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Unknown
And what that does is it essentially breaks apart the baby's body and it brings the baby out. And they use metal instruments to do that. And that's what a doctor does in a day. And see abortion. However, if a woman in Florida or Texas, where abortion is banned, presents with a miscarriage, in that situation, her baby has died, she's got an incomplete miscarriage.

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Unknown
So what's happened is her baby has tragically died inside her. But bits of the baby are still in her pregnancy. Tissue is still in her. Some of the babies come out, but not everything. And so she's now in in a severely life threatening situation. She could go sepsis, she could get an infection. Her life is at risk. So she needs care.

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Unknown
And the method the doctors will do is a dilation and curity. And it's that same method that I just talked about.

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Unknown
And what the doctors will do is they'll use those metal instruments to go inside the woman and to scrape out the remaining bits of the baby or the pregnancy tissue that has been left behind. And that's how we save her life in an incomplete miscarriage.

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Unknown
But the differences in a miscarriage. The baby has died. Whereas in an abortion scenario, the woman is protesting and saying, I want you to kill my baby. Now. Any doctor, any doctor worth their salt knows the difference between a live baby and a dead baby. And so if you are in a state where abortion is banned and you want doctors to kill your baby, they're going to say no.

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Unknown
But if you're in a state where abortion is banned and you've got an incomplete miscarriage and you say, I need help, the doctors are going to say, your baby's already died, we will help you. We're not killing your baby. We're just giving you health care. Yes, the method might be the same. It's a dilation and curettage, but it's for a different purpose.

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Unknown
The purpose of an abortion is to intentionally end the life of an innocent human being. You don't need to do that in a miscarriage, because the baby has tragically already died.

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Unknown
so this is a complete set up by Senator Cortez. It's a complete lie. She's perpetuating the propaganda of the abortion industry. She's doing their bidding. She probably gets a lot of donations from Planned Parenthood. RFK doesn't know what's really going on here. He doesn't know how to respond.

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Unknown
so the second video I wanted to show you guys was a video that popped up on my TikTok feed.

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Unknown
It's from some show in America. I've never seen it, but I thought this clip was interesting. So let's take a watch.

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Unknown
Here's the thing. No one tells you about marriage, about family. How much you can resent the people you love for everything you had to give up for them. And there's never even a thank you. You just give it all up. Because that's what having a family demands of a woman. And then you wake up one day and you realize the person that you were meant to be is gone.

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Unknown
You gave her up for people who don't even see you. And there's no time to grieve her because there's too much damn laundry.

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Unknown
so. I imagine some of you guys who are watching this or listening to it relate to this woman. You feel so stretched out, you feel tapped out.

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Unknown
You just feel exhausted. And and I get that, like, I get that motherhood and parenting stretches you in ways that you just never experienced in life. I've certainly had that experience at various points, where you just you feel like, oh, wow, my play is so full and I don't know how I'm going to cope right now. The thing is, I guess I want to unpack the fact that this kind of show where this woman is saying this kind of thing, it essentially is coming from a place of real bitterness and resentment.

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Unknown
And it's it sounds to me like she has given so much to the people around her, but without ever, ever giving herself time, without ever putting boundaries around that, without ever having expectations of the people that she's giving stuff to. And as a result, she's just in such a place of bitterness and resentment. Instead of assertively saying, the people you know like her kids, I need you to do chores.

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Unknown
I need you to do the laundry. Because guys, you're like above the age of seven and you should be helping. Or, to a husband, you know? Can you help out with this? She's just feeling so spent out and burnt out. And I think, you know, I actually think some of the blame really has to lay at her feet at that.

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Unknown
If we as women or as mothers are just feeling so exhausted, sometimes it just happens so quickly and you don't realize how you got there.

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Unknown
But once you realize that you're going down that path of bitterness and resentment to the people around you, you actually it's incumbent upon you to turn around and to be assertive about it and to sort of say, can we have a chat?

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Unknown
You know, I just don't think this parenting thing is working the way I thought it would, and I need more help, or this is something I feel like you could help me with. And then maybe your partner is also, you know, feeling exhausted and has stuff that he wants to tell you, or maybe he just hasn't even realized that you're feeling exhausted and tapped out.

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Unknown
But when you get to this place where you're just feeling so bitter and resentful, it's actually not the fault of everybody else around you. It's actually your fault because you didn't use your own agency and power to do something about it. So I guess there'll be some people that I have a lot of haters. So some people are going to say, well, that's so judgy.

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Unknown
You don't know what a woman's going through. She may have no support out there, but, you know, something I would say is, if you if your children are going to school, make friends with the other moms, see if you can tag team over, drop off and pick up, you know, see, if you can help each other out with meals or with playdates or whatever, so that you get some time and maybe you don't have any family in the state that you live.

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Unknown
We don't have family where we live, so we we don't have that babysitting. And, you know, the help that you get when you got family around. But equally, maybe you're a single mom and you don't have a partner, so you kind of need other people in your life.

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Unknown
She doesn't just stop there.

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Unknown
So let's take a look at what she says next.

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Unknown
You just wake up one day and you realize that half of you, maybe the best part of you is dead.

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Unknown
And and you take it for granted that. That when push comes to shove, your sacrifices will be remembered and appreciated. And the people closest to you will show you some grace when you need it. And then they don't.

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Unknown
So she's just so bitter, isn't she? And what she says is that, she's lost the best part of herself because she became a parent. Now, when we unpack that, you sort of think, well, what part of you do you lose when you become a parent? You lose the part where you get to do whatever you want with your time and your day and your life, because you've now got these little personal, these little people that you got to care for,

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Unknown
so in her worldview, the best part of herself is the part where she gets to do things for herself, what she wants all the time. And it's actually a miserable philosophy for life. If you all you want to do in life is self driven and cares about self rather than others, you're just going to be miserable because actually it's through giving that we receive.

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Unknown
It's through giving that we find joy and fulfillment. Often it's through helping others that you just get this excitement because you've helped another person. You form that meaningful connection. Now I get that a lot of the people listening to this show, maybe you feel that you've given the best part of yourself out in motherhood, and you relate to this woman, and you just you think, I'm being really judgy here, but my encouragement to you would be to to give to your children and your families, but to also not neglect the part of yourself that is creative or gets inspired, or the hobbies and interests that you have.

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Unknown
You know, I go to this point in my parenting journey where I was raising these children and I was also pushing myself really hard at work, but my mental health definitely was was suffering. I was experiencing quite a bit of anxiety. And I saw a psychiatrist and she said to me, you need to get a hobby. And I just thought, well, I've got no time for a hobby.

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Unknown
I don't have any time left to do that. But she just was very firm with me and said, you need to have a hobby. And I didn't even have a hobby at that point. You know, I kind of liked reading, but I do read so much for my day job that at that point, I just didn't think I'd be able to read, recreationally.

00:11:26:09 - 00:11:46:20
Unknown
And so that wasn't going to be the hobby. But essentially, we landed on the fact that I, I'd always wanted to learn how to sew, and we agreed that for 30 days I was going to learn how to sew. And so at that point in my life, I had two kids, I was pregnant with my third, and I was working full time at the university, but I gave myself half an hour a day with my new sewing machine, and I taught myself how to sew, and it felt like torture.

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Unknown
At first, everything I made was a complete disaster. I just kept breaking the needle. Nothing worked. But eventually through doing it every day for 30 minutes, which is apparently a thing with hobbies. You know, if you do that for 30 days, you start to enjoy it. And that's what I found. And I think just her telling me I needed a hobby started to open something else up for me.

00:12:07:01 - 00:12:39:22
Unknown
I started to, do some gardening, and there was a seed in after the sowing where I had a veggie patch and I love to tend to my veggies. I then really got into baking and making Swiss rolls and banoffee pies. And actually right now I'm back to reading again and I'm enjoying reading recreationally. So, you know, I think that if you are a mother and you're feeling like you've given the best part of yourself, I'd really encourage you to just reject that line of thinking, to recognize that as a distorted, selfish thought, but to also say, okay, well, maybe there's something in me that's just feeling so burnt out and strung out and

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Unknown
tapped out, and I need to find a way in my life to make sure that I, that I do something for me, that I have something for me in my life. And and and to allow yourself to give yourself permission to do that.

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Unknown
the other important thing about recognizing that you need to develop a hobby as a mum is to make sure that you understand that this is actually good for your kids.

00:12:59:00 - 00:13:32:18
Unknown
This is not a trade off between, you being selfish and having a hobby, or being selfless and giving them everything in every waking minute. No, actually, having a hobby is the best thing for your kids. For them to be able to see you as being a more interesting person for them, because you've got other things in your life that you're interested in and that you're exploring and that you're doing it and models creative pursuits to them, and it shows them, you know, that in this family, because we talk a lot about building a strong family culture, it shows them that the entire family is not orientated around them, that they're not just little

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Unknown
emperors that mum and dad do everything for, but that mum and dad have lives too. And so, you know, I talked about taking up sewing. What's amazing is that I took up sewing and it was really hard. And then I got to enjoy it. And I'm not really sewing very much anymore, but I, I'm still glad that I learned that skill and that I had that season in my life.

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Unknown
And, you know, I remember making these, these bunting for my baby shower for the third child that I was so proud of because I learned how to sew and make that bunting. But anyway, you know my daughter, who is now 14, she loves sewing. She's got a little machine in her room. She sews pencil cases and little tote bags.

00:14:07:11 - 00:14:29:00
Unknown
She's made bunting herself. She's also obviously observed my vegie patch stuff because she's now really wanting to create her own little flower patch. And she's been talking to my husband, negotiating to get a little part of the garden. So I think the hobbies that we have, as mums, they actually help our children to kind of be inspired by it, to be more creative, to pursue more things, to spend less time on screens.

00:14:29:06 - 00:14:46:12
Unknown
And they see you as a mum, as a more interesting person. More recently, you guys know that I've been on this journey talking about abortion, and I think my kids as well have found that fascinating to see. Her mum has developed like a social media profile, how she's making these speeches and traveling around. It's kind of giving them something to aspire to.

00:14:46:14 - 00:15:01:10
Unknown
It's made them feel like they too could change the world, because their mum is trying to do it. And, you know, I think that's also part of being a parent. We don't want to end up like this woman who is so shriveled and hag ish. And I'm going to get hype for saying that. But really, she's just bitter and resentful.

00:15:01:10 - 00:15:18:20
Unknown
And that's not who I meant to be. And so, you know, if you feel you going down that path, it's a dangerous path. And I just encourage you to spend some time in self-reflection, spend some time in nature going for a walk, take out a journal and just think about what is life giving for you. How could you have a bit more of that in your day and your life?

00:15:19:04 - 00:15:32:01
Unknown
The third video I wanted to react quickly is just this video from beyond. Say, it's from a couple of months ago where she was speaking at a rally. This was when this presidential election was going on. I didn't have time to respond to it properly then, so I thought we'd share it now and just take a look.

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Unknown
I'm not here as a celebrity. I'm not here as a politician. I'm here as a mother. A mother who cares deeply about the world. My children and all of our children living in a world where we have the freedom to control our bodies. A world where we're not divided. Our past, our present, our future. Merged to meet us here.

00:16:05:12 - 00:16:15:02
Unknown
What I hate about this video is that she's a role model, and that young girls listen to her, and young women are going to watch this and think that that the example of empowering motherhood, you know,

00:16:15:02 - 00:16:20:21
Unknown
that's what I thought as a brainwashed 20 year old at Sydney Uni, that to be empowered you needed to have access to abortion.

00:16:20:21 - 00:16:33:23
Unknown
Now she doesn't even say a word. She doesn't mention anything about what abortion is or how it operates, how suddenly, you know, women receive this empowerment. She just says, I need to have control over their own bodies.

00:16:33:23 - 00:16:40:14
Unknown
So to be clear, she's speaking euphemistically about the fact that for women to be free, they need to be able to kill their child.

00:16:40:22 - 00:16:57:15
Unknown
now. There are so many responses to this. It's not their body that they kill. Women can have control over their own bodies, but when they exercise that right to their own body in a way that harms the right of another person's body, a a weaker, more vulnerable, voiceless party, then that's just called a human rights abuse.

00:16:57:15 - 00:17:01:24
Unknown
That's just them trampling over the human rights of that weaker, more vulnerable party.

00:17:01:24 - 00:17:37:17
Unknown
the other thing, be on sites as is. I'm not here as a celebrity. I'm not here as a politician. I'm here as a mother. And she really labors that, doesn't she? She's. I'm here as a mother. I'm just like you guys. But you know what? She misses the fundamental essence of motherhood. When she turns around and says, but you should be able to kill your child, because what she doesn't realize is that from the moment that baby is made, from the moment of conception or fertilization, whatever, whatever you want to call it, from the moment that the sperm fertilizes the egg and you have a distinct, unrepeatable individual human

00:17:37:17 - 00:17:48:10
Unknown
being created, that woman is transformed into a mother. And when she has an abortion, she's transformed into a mother who kills her own child.

00:17:48:10 - 00:18:05:19
Unknown
You know, I was just reading a journal article yesterday, and the title of it is just so evocative. I want to share it with you guys. It says Forever Connected. The lifelong biological Consequences of being a mother. You know, they used some fancy language for that, as you can see on the screen. But essentially what they're saying is forever connected.

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Unknown
The lifelong consequences of being a mother from the moment that babies created

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Unknown
about 2 to 3 weeks earlier than when you get two lines on a pregnancy test, that babies start sending out stem cells into the mother's body that remain with her for the rest of her life.

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Unknown
This process is called fetal micro.

00:18:24:14 - 00:18:45:10
Unknown
Kimura ism. I'm not sure if I'm saying that right, but essentially what it is is the fact that these baby and these mother are in irrevocably intertwined from that moment on, from the moment that baby is created. And so for Beyoncé to turn around and say, I'm a mother, but yes, being a mother means we should be able to kill our children.

00:18:45:12 - 00:19:16:24
Unknown
It's just fundamentally wrong. It it goes against the very idea, in essence, of motherhood, these little babies that are sending out these stem cells, you know, they're not just doing it for their own benefit. It's actually this deeply symbiotic relationship which helps the mother. So it's a preventative against breast cancer, against Alzheimer's. If the mother gets liver disease or kidney disease later down the track, the fact that this baby has sent out stem cells to her are actually protective features for healing the mother's body.

00:19:17:01 - 00:19:40:20
Unknown
So, you know, Beyonce's got it completely wrong. Our culture has got it completely wrong. Young women, when they look up to someone like Beyoncé who's been so brainwashed by the abortion industry about what motherhood is, they're just being led astray. So, you know, all of this to say, because we've looked at three videos today which make you gravely concerned for what our kids are consuming and where our culture is going.

00:19:41:00 - 00:19:58:04
Unknown
All of this to say, please share this video, subscribe to this channel, get the word out there. Because we do need the truth to be brought to light about what it means to be a mother, about what it means to be a woman, and how the biggest blessing in life there is no greater blessing than a human child.